Calorie-conscious Sipper Pillows

"The beer has a third less calories and the styrofoam peanuts have none."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

We'll have Manhattans...

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Anton's Bar and Grill

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Wine not?"

Can I get you another coffee?

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

The youth shows responsibility!

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Scariest Tactics

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

New for Fall

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."