Calm Cucumber Club Gifts

"Everyone says I'm crazy and avoids me because I don't panic despite of corona, climate change or inflation. . ."

Paul Ree

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Born to be Mild.

All we have in life is this moment...

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

Weathervanes.

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

'Those are interesting questions Timmy. I suggest you ask your search engine.'

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

"We're usually pretty good at spotting job burn-out before it gets bad, but every now and then, someone slips under our radar!"

"Yoga CAN be of great benefit. . . but only if you learn how to do it PROPERLY!"

"I feel cool and calm, but not collected."

100th Birthday

'Oh please, lots of people have worse commutes than you.'

JB doesn't like to see anybody that's stressful.

Policeman wishing for lighter food than meat in hot weather

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'

Scrabble night.

'I told you I was all for the multicultural society.'

"Dave? I have big news. I hope you're in the lotus position."

'Society of hermits'

'Global warming? I smell fish sticks!!'

Night club has an old man sat in a chill out room.

"I want you to stay back after class, Mr Thompson."

"Do you realize your lips move when you meditate?"

Make it look easy, while underneath you're paddling like hell.