Clumsy Club Member Gifts

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

The Fall of Gnome

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I told you not to slam the door!'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

"Oh my God Ruth, it's that bull again!"

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

Cat in bandages and on a crutch.

Job applicant.

'Do you still wonder why you were passed over for accounting research manager?'

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"You stepped right in dog ship and now you're dragging it all over the house."

Unlucky sculpture.

'Don't you think it's about time you learned to walk through walls?'

Jack B...not so Nimble.

'How can you be so clumsy, Fred? That's the third time today you've tripped in the sand!'

Garden stagger

Where is my phone?! My keys have to be around somewhere! Where is my wallet?! Some lost things are seemingly impossible for me to find. On the other hand, whenever any weight is lost it will will always easily find me again.

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"

'Darn it, Marvin! Can't you do anything right?'

'To be honest, I'm surprised you employed me!'

Stick Man/Schtick Man