Clumsy Club Member Gifts

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

The Fall of Gnome

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I told you not to slam the door!'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

"Oh my God Ruth, it's that bull again!"

Cat in bandages and on a crutch.

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

'Do you still wonder why you were passed over for accounting research manager?'

Job applicant.

'Don't you think it's about time you learned to walk through walls?'

Unlucky sculpture.

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Garden stagger

'How can you be so clumsy, Fred? That's the third time today you've tripped in the sand!'

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"

'Darn it, Marvin! Can't you do anything right?'

Jack B...not so Nimble.

'To be honest, I'm surprised you employed me!'

Stick Man/Schtick Man

'Be reasonable, Daphne - It's the only thing I've broken during the whole course of our marriage!'