Call Tones Pillows

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Cold caller.

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

'It's for you.'

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

'Not now, Harry. I'm on hold.'

'Can I call you back, I'm chasing a car.'

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."