Call Screeners Gifts

"Another bloody cold caller asking if I want to lead the labour party!"

I'm away from my desk. Any message you leave won't be of any importance to me.

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Men's Health Screenings.

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'They might as well sleep all day - all they do is stare at that screen.'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

Drama Llama

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

Cinema. Save me a seat, dear, behind you.

Ball and Chain

Caveman at Computer

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"This is going a lot smoother than we anticipated."

No caption (A cat watches different security screens all with images of mouseholes).

"There must be an app for this..."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"What? I AM taking a break from the computer."

The TV asks a man on a computer: 'Don't you love ME anymore?'

Coffee then and coffee now.

No calls, I'm resting on my laurels.

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

'Fred can monitor financial markets around the world 247

Cellphone Heads

'I'm worried about him always on that phone and not playing outside enough.'

Screen Addict

Mammogram

'This is the voice mailbox of Rip Van Winkle. You have forty seven thousand two hundred and six messages...'

Deadly Radon

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

"Don't you think we should do like the opthalmologist asked,and move him back from the television set?"

"I like having a laptop with a big screen, but my back doesn't."