Call Screener Gifts

'Don't answer it - it's a cold caller.'

No calls, I'm resting on my laurels.

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

Drama Llama

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

Caveman at Computer

Degas: l'iphone

"This is the break room, where we watch reruns of classic security footage."

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

The TV asks a man on a computer: 'Don't you love ME anymore?'

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"How many times are young going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

I'm away from my desk. Any message you leave won't be of any importance to me.

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

'This is the voice mailbox of Rip Van Winkle. You have forty seven thousand two hundred and six messages...'

Blue screen of death

'Adjustment of your picture is necessary - call your repairman.'

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

"Another bloody cold caller asking if I want to lead the labour party!"

"I like having a laptop with a big screen, but my back doesn't."

Honey, wake up! The world's gone widescreen!

"Coffee?! I thought we were just meeting to stare at our phones!"

'Never Anything on TV...'

Surfing the Web

Newborn's TV.