Calisthenics Fans Gifts

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Body Building

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.