Calendar Humor Collector Gifts

David Trying to Remember How Goliath Ever Got on His Calendar

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

Theory A Day Calendar.

Appointments and Disappointments

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

Dog Calenders.

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"Of course I'm building another one Dummy! It's a New Year, we need a new calendar!"

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

'Figuring out what a day equals is hard. I think I'll work on something easier ... '

T.S. Eliot calendar.

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

Personnel. Are you familiar with "flex time"? Just the usual kind -- slow workdays and fast weekends.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

"Follow up appointment... the doctor will be retired by then."

The First Black Friday

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.

'Whoooa, Hubba Hubba Hubba'

"It's from our 'Time Management' trainer. He's double booked and can't come!"

Time Passes...For Meaning.

School closings of the future

March madness