Calendar Humor Collector Prints

David Trying to Remember How Goliath Ever Got on His Calendar

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

Appointments and Disappointments

Theory A Day Calendar.

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"Of course I'm building another one Dummy! It's a New Year, we need a new calendar!"

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

T.S. Eliot calendar.

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"Follow up appointment... the doctor will be retired by then."

The First Black Friday

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'Whoooa, Hubba Hubba Hubba'

Time Passes...For Meaning.

School closings of the future

"It's my New Year!"

"Can't do 3 p.m. — I'm scheduled for a migraine."