Calendar Hater Gifts

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"You know I hate birthdays!"

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

Personnel. Are you familiar with "flex time"? Just the usual kind -- slow workdays and fast weekends.

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

'Look - forget I asked if you were free any evenings...'

'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'

"It's from our 'Time Management' trainer. He's double booked and can't come!"

"It's my New Year!"

March madness

Time Passes...For Meaning.

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

'And why do you want a refund on that calendar?'

Every Dog Has His Day

Next years calendar.

"Since I don't really know you, I got you something that's easy to regift."

'This is the only time I really get to seize the day.'

My new trash pickup day is midweek, on Wednesday. Hump-day dump-day!

Current Events.

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

'For my 40th he took me to a restaurant where they sing happy birthday to you, so I divorced him.'

The Month of November

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"One in four fleas is a leap flea."

My New Year's resolution? To no longer suffer in silence. I will moan, whimper, and complain until you resolve to get the heater fixed.

'When I say 'February' what do you think of? . . . I was hoping for 'Valentine's Day', but I guess that was a long shot.'

'Okay. . . all in favour of a growing older or 'Birthday tax', please blow out the candles.'

'It's always April 15th here.'

"March 177th? Already?!"

'What do you mean it was last night?! Let me see the tickets!'

Kevin's Eleven-Thousandth Day of Being Kevin

'I mean...how do I know it's really your birthday?'

Photocopying a chippendale calender - "She's running our of muscle toner."