Calendar Conjurer Gifts

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Needs salt!'

Bright Idea

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

Ghostbasters 3

Witch's Brew.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Witches of Instagram

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

Appointments and Disappointments

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

My Cauldron Rules

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

"Follow up appointment... the doctor will be retired by then."

'Look - forget I asked if you were free any evenings...'

'I wish you'd cook dinner!'

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"She works best in hex mode."

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

Easter Bunny HQ. United States. If all these states can move up their primaries, why can't I move Easter ahead of Valentine's Day?!

"Can't do 3 p.m. — I'm scheduled for a migraine."

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

"My digital planner exploding may be a sign I'm way too busy."