Calendar Comedians Pillows

'Filo Ex-Lax' in a toilet.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Very funny!'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

The Month of August

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Uninhabital USA.

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

"The water feature doubles as a plunge pool."

'You really shouldn't eat food that are out of season.'

"Solar diet."

"CCCOOOLD!"

"Oh no ... I'll never lose any weight this way."

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

Rage-a-Day Calendar.

'I think maybe they should move opening day until it's warmer.'

The stages of winter

'Hey, honey, remember when I told you to expect a big surprise on our anniversary? Well, I snuck off to go hunting with Cliff - SURPRISE!'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

Music

'Santa Claus again for you.'

Fall, in summary...

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

"Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but. . ."

'Dad, I can't find any matches to light the cake.'

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

"It's cold, but it's a dry cold penguin."

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

"Sorry, my calendar is full."

Insulate Britain Fundamentalists

'He's running a high fever.'