Calendar Comedians T-Shirts

'Filo Ex-Lax' in a toilet.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Very funny!'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

The Month of August

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

Uninhabital USA.

"The water feature doubles as a plunge pool."

"Oh no ... I'll never lose any weight this way."

Rage-a-Day Calendar.

"CCCOOOLD!"

'I think maybe they should move opening day until it's warmer.'

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

'You really shouldn't eat food that are out of season.'

The stages of winter

'Hey, honey, remember when I told you to expect a big surprise on our anniversary? Well, I snuck off to go hunting with Cliff - SURPRISE!'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

'Santa Claus again for you.'

Fall, in summary...

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

Music

"Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but. . ."

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

"Sorry, my calendar is full."

"It's cold, but it's a dry cold penguin."

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

'He's running a high fever.'