Chronology Comedian T-Shirts

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

Bicycle sat nav.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Have you hugged your money today?

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"The Armour seems okay, it must be a touch of rheumatism."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

US Winter Weather Map.

Welcome to the North Pole

"He can't tell his left from his right."

Keister Island

La Tour 2007.

"Russia is run by rich oligarchs. America is run by rich insurance companies."

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

Chugalugs Ice Cream (Out of Business) Coming Soon: Chuglalugs Hot Chocolate