Cake Satirist Gifts

Recycling Center: Glass/Plastic, Metal/Paper, Holiday Fruit Cake.

Harsh Mellows.

Cake Free Zone

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

The Great Lamington Drive of 1892 - Lamingtons are being herded like cattle across the plains by cowboys... or lamingtonboys.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"A little under done?"

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

Breakfast cereal in the Treasury.

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'People soup again?'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'I baked it especially for you.'

"Mr. Rod, we know what's happening...you're laying us all off."

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

'The Cod's off, but you can have whale and chips.'

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

'Oh no, how do I tell them that I don't like Angel Food cake?'

'Tonight you will be enjoying Howard, a happily raised free range chicken slaughtered no ten miles from here. He is accompanied by his wife, Lily, who ironically sautes opposite your own wife.'

'The thought of your biscuits brings a lump to my throat.'