Cake Satirist Gifts

Recycling Center: Glass/Plastic, Metal/Paper, Holiday Fruit Cake.

Cake Free Zone

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Harsh Mellows.

The Great Lamington Drive of 1892 - Lamingtons are being herded like cattle across the plains by cowboys... or lamingtonboys.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"A little under done?"

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'People soup again?'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Breakfast cereal in the Treasury.

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'I baked it especially for you.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

"Mr. Rod, we know what's happening...you're laying us all off."

How to make your own snickers bar

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

'The Cod's off, but you can have whale and chips.'

'The thought of your biscuits brings a lump to my throat.'

At the party, nobody like the fruitcake.

'Tonight you will be enjoying Howard, a happily raised free range chicken slaughtered no ten miles from here. He is accompanied by his wife, Lily, who ironically sautes opposite your own wife.'