Cafeteria Chaos Fans T-Shirts

'I hate it when the track team comes to lunch.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

'Chocolate pudding to start...it'll deaden your appetite.'

"Captain, this Brie is totally out of control!"

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

"Do you ever wonder if you could function in L.A.?"

'It's called ‘Shared Risk.' You taste the Okra Casserole and I'll try the Tuna Surprise.'

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'Charles knew Tad was about to snap. Quarterly profits were weak, the network was compromised and now, Tuesday's Brussel Sprout medley in the cafeteria lingered through Thursday.'

"Principal Gomez! What are you doing here? Don't you in your office."

Hot dog carts collide

Dinosaur Dining

"This school is so good, I even learn stuff during lunch."

"I'm on a special diet; no school food."