Cabbie Pillows

Taxi - I love going home

London cab sign: 'Thank you for not asking to go across the river.'

"Oh come on mate. I thought you said that you'd done the knowledge!"

"Oi! Can't you see I've already got a fair in the back?!"

"I know he saw me."

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

Accommodating.

Add on £5 if you don't want to hear my opinions.

"I'm not sure about these Human Intelligence vehicles."

A complaint of cabbies

'Sorry, I've only got £4. You'll have to reverse for a mile or two.'

'I had that Pitt the Younger in the back the other day!'

"He used to be a Cabbie..."

'Sorry, you'll just have to reverse back to where it was only £101'

"Of course I love you, that will be £25, please."

The fate of the emigrant

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"I shop, therefore I am."

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

A Quiet Rebuke.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Golf with a difference

Airplane food

And if the ball is completely unplayable...