Cabbie Pillows

Taxi - I love going home

London cab sign: 'Thank you for not asking to go across the river.'

"Oh come on mate. I thought you said that you'd done the knowledge!"

"Oi! Can't you see I've already got a fair in the back?!"

"I know he saw me."

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

Accommodating.

Add on £5 if you don't want to hear my opinions.

"I'm not sure about these Human Intelligence vehicles."

A complaint of cabbies

'Sorry, I've only got £4. You'll have to reverse for a mile or two.'

'I had that Pitt the Younger in the back the other day!'

"He used to be a Cabbie..."

'Sorry, you'll just have to reverse back to where it was only £101'

"Of course I love you, that will be £25, please."

The fate of the emigrant

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"I shop, therefore I am."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

A Quiet Rebuke.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Airplane food

Golf with a difference

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.