Byzantine Buff Pillows

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Knight Golfing

Theorbo

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

May your Christmas be full of harmony

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Even More Disciples'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'