Byte Bistro Aficionado T-Shirts

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

La Table

Welcome Spring.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Back in 5 minutes!

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"....and hold the garlic."