Byte Bistro Aficionado T-Shirts

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

La Table

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Welcome Spring.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Back in 5 minutes!

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!