Buying A New Car Gifts

"Batteries not included."

"But we're not just talking about buying a car-we're talking about confronting this country's trade deficit with Japan."

"I was looking for my piece of the American Dream when I bought this truck...now I'm looking for a parking space."

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

'How sweet, he's smiling. He must be dreaming about me.'

"Would you like to super-size that?"

Man staring at a large confusing map

New American dream? 'I sometimes fantasize about a modest home and a fairly new used car.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

"Perfect."

Car Sales

'A word in your ear about the 'value for money' fleet cars you ordered...'

'That's the price of the balloon, but you get the car with it.'

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'

'Did I mention the gas mileage?!'

'It seats two comfortably.'

'Thats with $30,000 down.'

'I meant, how flexible are you on price?'

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

'Yes sir, this baby's turbo charged, fuel injected and has CD and DVD! Forget 'reindeer power' Mr Claus... and say hello to Horse Power!'

'Backseat folds out to a bed in case you run out of gas on the way home.'

I break for toilet paper

Where airbags should be.

'With the sleep, low x-39, you get a free list of local chiropractors.'

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I realize you're attached to your car. However, when it's being held together by duct tape, it's time to buy a new one.'

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

'This is the 20th car you've bought this month. So, I've checked you into a car-addiction program.'

"Listen to this baby purr."

During a snowfall, it's always best to slow down a bit.

'We only live once. Hope in.'