Business Pitches Gifts

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Very good Mr Johnson. Now perhaps you could repeat your proposal whilst simultaneously stroking your beard? Somehow that makes you more convincing..."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Any questions?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

"...and this chart shows people clearly prefer bar graphs to pie charts."

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

Exchange Fund

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

"I propose we go with the second option."

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

'I take it we won the business, then?'

'Any questions?'

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

"I said I wanted the big picture. This is hardly even a supporting feature. It isn't even the cartoon short."

"Sorry, Roger. The old laser pointer seems to be acting up again!"

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

'You want to run that by me again?'

'Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission.'