Business Mogul Humorist Gifts

'Mr. Dentler is the man behind the man behind the man.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."