Business Jargon Linguist Gifts

'If you would be willing to take the blame, we'll preface it with the word 'undue'?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

GDP and G&T.

Terms and conditions on the mount

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"You're all redundant."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'This startup is going to cost me a ton.'

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

Clothiers. Suits - Shirts. The salesman uses a lot of business jargon. Welcome! You've done your due diligence. You already know we're a value-add operation here. Great synergies with the suit and accessories! And our tailor can right-size this for you. You'll be able to monetize the strategic acquisition of this suit via enhanced deal-making success! I don't want to "dress for success." I want clothes for repose. I think I have a great head for business but my body never wants to tak

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'Ms. Kravetz, find me a euphemism to describe this productivity gain somewhere between resource action and you're all fired.'

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"