Business Jargon Gifts

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

"Dear Alice: in response to your accusation...."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

GDP and G&T.

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

Terms and conditions on the mount

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

Digital Marketing

Clothiers. Suits - Shirts. The salesman uses a lot of business jargon. Welcome! You've done your due diligence. You already know we're a value-add operation here. Great synergies with the suit and accessories! And our tailor can right-size this for you. You'll be able to monetize the strategic acquisition of this suit via enhanced deal-making success! I don't want to "dress for success." I want clothes for repose. I think I have a great head for business but my body never wants to tak

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."