Business Jargon Pillows

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

"Dear Alice: in response to your accusation...."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

GDP and G&T.

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Terms and conditions on the mount

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

Digital Marketing

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'