Business Investigation Gifts

'I'll call you back. I think the secret of my business success has just been discovered.'

The Anti-Agent

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'The recession is over, again.'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"True crime meets reality TV"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

End of Year Figs.

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Business Outlook

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Bribery and Corruption.

"He did it!"

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Newton's Law and Order.