Business Fanatics Gifts

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Born to raise interest rates.

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Overdraft limit.

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'