Business Brainiacs Gifts

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'I don't care if he does have an I.Q. of 169. I still think he's faking.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

Lost and Profound.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"The only time I let my staff show fear is when they're trying to save their jobs."

Psychology: Registering for this class is a No-Brainer

'Okay, that business plan didn't work - now let's try thinking outside the box.'

"He said absolutely, positively, read my lips - NO! Unless I'm reading him wrong, I'd say he's definitely warming up to the idea."

"Matsuzaka has an ERA of 3.88, yet Francona’s starting Schilling. Doesn’t that seem counterintuitive to you?"

'What's wrong with picking up a couple of bucks on the side?'

"We tried crowdsourcing the data, but the crowd turned into an angry mob and threw bogus data at us."

'Me, I'm making my pocket money by selling my dad's old shoes as lucky charms...'

"Well, I'm a bit of an entrepreneur: I saw there was a market, so I launched my business..."

"Adjusting the picture won't make it any clearer."

'We can't merge again. Our letterhead already takes up the entire page.'

"The Doctor here is an expert at hot-wiring the consumer brain."

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

"Well, it's logical: we're not really strong like wolves or hounds, so we need to use our brains..."

'Yes, Dear, I know fish is brain food, but maybe you should cut down a little!'

"I figure a few more lemons borrowed from mom and we'll be too big to fail."

Patient Entrance, Neurology Department.