Business Boardroom Wizardry Gifts

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

Well, we've generated enough hot air...it must be time to cram it in a trial balloon and float it.

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'And it was at this point we decided to try to put the toothpaste back in the tube.'

"I may be wrong, but i suspect he is already grooming his successor."

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'It's lonely at the top.'