Bus Stop Philosopher Gifts

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'When they wind up on their shell, they're history.'

Hot enough for you?

"You love gloating, don't you?"

The Man of Thermal

'Been waiting long?'

Where is global warming when you really want it?

"He always said commuting would kill him."

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

'Here comes the 96...'

'So which is it - transfixed by my beauty or standing on my ten-pound note?'

'Look - I'm not AN Antony Gormley, I AM Antony Gormley.'

To disguise the rude sound of your bottom blow-offs, try inserting a duck whistle.

"Hey, no pushing!!"

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Fur Baby

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

Chicken: the one-man show

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

Road Guilt

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

"All this talk about self-driving cars. I can't see the benefit. They'll never catch on. Believe me son, people like to drive."

Road signs point to various things to buy including "women's wear", "office supplies" and "household appliances".

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

'Maybe it was a left turn at the last set of traffic lights...?'

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

Bus stop in the desert - 'It wouldn't hurt to wait around for a little while.'

'Do you believe we return in another form when our time is through?'

Reserved for Employee of the Month. You're a temp worker --- That's not the same thing as "employee of the month"!

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

Woman on Subway's Thoughts