Burpee Haters Pillows

"It's true: no more burpees."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

Old Man Journal

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

Grumpy Old Men

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

Urp! Homo Eructus.

Noise Pollution

'Bench-clearing brawl!'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'No fish, but Junior made his first burp word.'

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"You know I hate queues, let's wait for the next one."

"I can't believe how COMPETITIVE the job market has gotten. The company I interviewed at today already has 16 employees who can burp the ABCs!"

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

'That little fella has quite a burp on him!'

Belching plant

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

'We still need a copy of your husbands death certificate.'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

Bull with a machine game pointing it at the Matador.

Bull Firing Squad.

London GPs income slashed by 'list cleaning'.