Burnt Offering Specialist T-Shirts

'Where're you going?' - 'Off to have your sausages carbon dated.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Final words on gravestones.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"I believe in consistent branding."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

The Bargain Brand

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

Book: Lies, Damned Lies and Marketing. . . The World's Best-Selling Book. . . Ever!

Google signwriter.

"The board told us it helps brand us as a team."

"After six weeks of camping out here to observe our operations, the design firm has created a new logo. It's our company's name in blue lower-case letters."

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Creating a powerful personal brand for social networking success.

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

"It's all about appealing to my target demographic."

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'I'm all in.'

"I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters....that'll be £15,000."

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'I'm afraid we must move with the times, Mr Bagley.'