Burnt Offering Specialist T-Shirts

'Where're you going?' - 'Off to have your sausages carbon dated.'

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Final words on gravestones.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"I believe in consistent branding."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

The Bargain Brand

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

"After six weeks of camping out here to observe our operations, the design firm has created a new logo. It's our company's name in blue lower-case letters."

Book: Lies, Damned Lies and Marketing. . . The World's Best-Selling Book. . . Ever!

"The board told us it helps brand us as a team."

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Creating a powerful personal brand for social networking success.

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"It's all about appealing to my target demographic."

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'I'm all in.'

"I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters....that'll be £15,000."

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'I'm afraid we must move with the times, Mr Bagley.'