Burn Survivor Gifts

Barbeque Casualty.

"Tommy!"

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Gary turns 40.

'Time for your pills.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Tourist in the desert

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Sporting maladies.

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'You've got a broken finger.'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

The corner that Spring's around

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'It's an old baseball injury.'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'I don't know when I've seen it so humid.'

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

'Hot enough for you?'

First Shot Discus Thrower

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'We got your test results back. Read it and weep.' Bedside bloopers

Man digging a path to his dog's kennel through the snow.