Burglary Humor T-Shirts

Waste Thinner

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

The Mafia Goes Green.

Wallpapering 4

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

'Hello, Mum!'

Early Ram Raids

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

Cuffwear, 2004

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

'Would you PLEASE hurry up!'

'I can't wait to tell the vet what a great mouser you are.'

"Hold everything, Louis!"

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

"Try twenty-three left."

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

'No thanks, I don't except suites from neighbours.'

'Just your credit cards. I don't feel safe carrying cash these days.'

He Watched Sports

'. . . before we rob the bank, let's synchronise our pacemakers!

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

"Yeah, I get it, it's hot - but you don't hear me screaming every time, do you?"

Harry 'Halitosis' Thribbs - do not approach this man.

'Dogs are from Mars, cats are from Venus.'

'It's a matter of opinion, to me it's a smash 'n' grab, to you it's a window of opportunity...'

Man coming home to a spider

"Ha Ha, it's just a small mongrel he calls 'Kalashnikov'."

"Quick Henry, pretend you're going to attack me."

"I want him to stay alert."