Bureaucratic Boogier Gifts

Department of Bureaucracy - Song and Dance.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

NHS targets.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'In... out... in... out... in... out... in...?!'

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Auditor General.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

"Don't worry. We've never hit a target since we've been in office."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

Washington Monuments

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.