Bump Dodger Gifts

Spring Damage.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

"Well, I'd say it should be fairly soon now!"

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Watch out for the low beams!"

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'OAP Licence'

NO Vacancy: "Damn thing hasn't stopped flashing since I booked in!"

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Death chasing an old man on bumper cars.

"You're the therapist - you make it go away."

'Charlie, you've been dredging your sand from the golf courses again.'

"Does my bump look big in this"

'It happens every time I go over a bump.'

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

'Four months I've been in here and I'm yet to see a tenancy agreement.'

'Wait...Sir...It's customary to pay for services when rendered!'

Dodging the firing squad.

World Ends April 15th: 'Tell me something I don't already know.'

'He's countering your right by throwning a left hook, crossing his right over your left jab, and upper cutting you when you work to his body...from where I stand, Tiger, you better STOP throwing punches.'

Look before you leap.

'This is just so like you. Always taking the easy way out.'

'Seems to me any thing we do is going to be wrong.'

'Notice how the brown of the pants nicely picks up the brown of the dogshit on your shoes.'