Bullet-dodger Pillows

Dodging the firing squad.

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Nun Binning the Devil

Health

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"I did it Dad! I ran all the way home and beat the rain!"

Sleeping through new year celebrations

Skiing Accidents.

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

The Demon's Disguise

Spring Damage.

Drones Unlimited

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

'Oh hey Dan, remember how I said we were gonna go camping this week? Well then it started to rain, and I noticed your empty garage here, so...'

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

Winter depression.

"You're the therapist - you make it go away."

"I thought all the bills we were going to ignore were coming electronically."

'It's thundering, dad. Can I get under the bed with you?'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"I knew those drones were bad news..."

'OK, so I have a thing about thunder!'

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?