Budgeting Optimist Gifts

"Baldo, that's an $85,000 car."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

'My pay envelope is empty.' - 'Your deductions equal your salary'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

'I don't have the budget surplus ON me, dummy!'

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

US Deficit

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

Bureau of Spending Decreases and Deficit Reduction - 'Wait a minute! How can that be?'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

Piggy Bank reads 'How to Manage Your Money.'

'I think we should budget on the number of budgets we draw up'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"Well, if I can't get an increase based on merit, how about one based on the cost of living beyond my means?"