Budget Optimists Gifts

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

Piggy bank writing an article on 'How to save Money?'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

Santa's budget reform...