Budget-friendly Entertainment Lover Pillows

"A game you can play alone or in a group, that tests your agility and is dirt cheap?!" "Marbles!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Big screen TV.

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Starvation Watching

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Medieval headlines.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Jim Carrey,

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Lets watch a martial arts movie."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

The spend is high

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Duplass Brothers

NBS Programming Department. Who have we got to interview Michael Jackson? We've got it narrowed down to Stephen King or Leonard Nimoy.

Get a Life

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

Peter Gabriel