Budget Boarder Pillows

'Using this, you will be able to get around the branches more quickly!'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"I just..."

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Smart card.

Economy.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'He must be going economy!'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Economist!

'Surely you can manage on your salary!'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Expensive greeting cards.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."