Budget Bender Pillows

How To Cut The Defense Budget

'Corporate traveler' tightening his belt

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"I just..."

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Fries and kids

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

Oil shock.

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

Your tax $ at WAR.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'