Budget Balancing Fan Pillows

ACcountants Lunch

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

State Budget.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

The economy and the environment.

The Costs Of Doing War.

Run in the Family

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

"Yes, you do get your bonus today. My assistant is empty the change out of the vending machine as we speak."

Recession mathematical equation.

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

NHS targets.

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'