Budget Balancing Fan Prints

ACcountants Lunch

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

State Budget.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

The economy and the environment.

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Yes, you do get your bonus today. My assistant is empty the change out of the vending machine as we speak."

Run in the Family

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

The Costs Of Doing War.

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

NHS targets.

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb