Balanced Diet Fan Prints

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Well that's a first Mr.Grimes - you appear to be suffering from an excess of omega 3.'

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

'We transformed our lives for the better.'

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

"Will the four main food groups fit on a pizza?"

"...and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day."

"I call it the 'Fasting diet'. Also known as the 'Where's all the food gone?!!' diet."

'He's on the cyclops diet. He's always got one eye on the fridge.'

"It's natural food, sir - Just eat it with your fingers."

"Yes, your blood work is not good! Going after the weak, sick or old is not conducive to eating well now, is it?"

'They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I say it's lunch. If it were the other way around, I'd be dead by now, since I've been sleeping through breakfast for years.'

'I'm on this 3 month diet...it only lasts a week, but it feels like 3 months.'

"I do want to be healthy but not so healthy that I miss out on my unhealthy eating habits."

'Let there be lite...er, wait. Let me try that again.'

"We may want to review the fibre levels in our diet..."

The eat well - lose weight - be calm diet.

In the beginning man was a vegetarian, but one day he discovered meat as a food group.

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

'I just love fad diets, I'm on three of them right now.'

'This thing is stupid - I weigh just the same with my coat and boots OFF!'

You're overweight...about three kegs of beer overweight!