Budding Bookworm Gifts

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Eternal Student.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

The DaVinci Code

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

The Bookworm

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

The Dorrie Decimal System

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

No-Work Orange

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Television Readers.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Honoré de Balzac

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Blue Stockings

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.