Buddhist Believers Pillows

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Showoff"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Buddhist photo albums,

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Give up all my possessions? Did I say Buddhist? I meant Boatist. I'm a boatist.

"Hoarder."

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"I would kill for your metabolism."

"Are we there yet?"