Buddhism Believer Pillows

Zenboni

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Zenemies.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Showoff"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Buddhist photo albums,

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Hoarder."

Give up all my possessions? Did I say Buddhist? I meant Boatist. I'm a boatist.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"When was your last meta-physical?"

Not The Real Me

"I would kill for your metabolism."

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"Are we there yet?"

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"