Buddhism Gifts

"Nothing happens next. This is it."

"Enough yin. More yang."

"Are we there yet?"

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

"This week on 'The Amazing Race to Enlightenment,' can Jim and Suzy achieve right mindfulness? And will Barb and Candy be eliminated for relentless clinging to the self?"

Buddhist holds a sign reading 'The End is Insight.'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Buddhist - You were here.

Chamaeleon at doctors - 'I'm worried about my karma.'

Confusionism: Why am I here?

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

"Me, too - all my worldly goods are going to me!"

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'Oi! Mind where you're going!'

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"You notice how these telephone pitches always come just when you're about to achieve satori?"

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Dot Om.

'Hey - enlighten up!'

'Psst! I just realised something... I'm hella bored.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

'Sit!' (Buddhist dog sits in meditation)

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

Ignorance and Bliss

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Buddhist Burgers: 'Make me one with everything'.

'Don't trust him David - he's an authority figure.'

"It's a self-portrait."

"Forget enlightenment. I want you to concentrate on the structure of the protein molecule."

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

Zenboni

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

"Showoff"

Competitive Meditation.