Buddhism Gifts

"Nothing happens next. This is it."

"Enough yin. More yang."

"Are we there yet?"

"This week on 'The Amazing Race to Enlightenment,' can Jim and Suzy achieve right mindfulness? And will Barb and Candy be eliminated for relentless clinging to the self?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Buddhist - You were here.

Confusionism: Why am I here?

Chamaeleon at doctors - 'I'm worried about my karma.'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

"Me, too - all my worldly goods are going to me!"

"You notice how these telephone pitches always come just when you're about to achieve satori?"

'Psst! I just realised something... I'm hella bored.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Dot Om.

"Showoff"

Zenboni

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

"Forget enlightenment. I want you to concentrate on the structure of the protein molecule."

Buddhist Burgers: 'Make me one with everything'.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

Competitive Meditation.

'Don't trust him David - he's an authority figure.'

"I'd read so much about it beforehand that I couldn't help being disappointed when I actually became enlightened."

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

It was a very, very interesting day.

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Well, QUIT sending me back as a low-bid contractor.'

'I'm going to start living entirely in the now. From tomorrow.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'