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'We have yellow ochre, but no mediocre. Maybe you misunderstood the teacher.'

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

'Unfortunately, he's very productive in paintings, not money.'

...for the first time in years, I look like I made a decent career choice.

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

The Art Student.

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Just call me Picasso!

Artist and Musician

Raphael

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

'Are you done yet?'

Artistic License

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

Painter's Duel.

Two New Paintbrushes

I'm color blind, please help.

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

Solitaire card shark.

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

Two men creating themselves with a pencil and paintbrush.

Jackson Pollock.

"I spent locked out including my painting."

The Cartoonist's armoury

Henri Matisse

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it